Dating can be confusing. Culture shifts, social expectations change, and everyone seems to have a different set of rules. Christians often wonder how to honor God while navigating relationships that may lead to marriage. The Bible does not use the modern word “dating,” but it gives principles for purity, wisdom, and Christlike love. With these truths, believers can approach dating with confidence and spiritual maturity.

This guide explains how Christians should date in a way that pleases God, protects purity, and prepares the heart for a godly marriage.

1. Understand the Purpose of Dating

The world treats dating as a recreational activity. The Bible teaches that relationships should have purpose. Dating is best understood as a path toward marriage. A Christian should only date someone they could biblically marry.

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
Amos 3:3

If marriage is the long-term goal, dating becomes intentional. It shapes friendship, compatibility, and spiritual unity.

2. Commit to Spiritual Alignment Before Romance Begins

A Christian should only date a believer. Scripture makes this absolutely clear.

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.”
2 Corinthians 6:14

Romance cannot fix spiritual conflict. Different beliefs lead to different priorities, different values, and eventually, different paths. A shared faith in Christ is the foundation of every strong Christian marriage.

3. Prioritize Character and Godliness Above Attraction

Attraction has value, but it cannot sustain a lifelong relationship. The Bible teaches that character honors God and blesses marriage.

Qualities to look for:

• a genuine walk with Christ

• humility and teachability

• personal discipline

• kindness and patience

• honesty

• a willingness to forgive

• a desire to grow spiritually

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain. But a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”
Proverbs 31:30

External beauty fades. Christlike character grows stronger with time.

4. Guard Your Purity and Set Clear Boundaries

Purity is not old fashioned. It is God’s command for His children.

“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.”
1 Thessalonians 4:3

Christian couples should:

• avoid being alone in private places

• keep physical affection within wise limits

• set boundaries early

• avoid media or environments that stir lust

• pursue accountability if needed

Physical intimacy is designed for marriage. Dating should protect purity, not endanger it.

5. Build the Relationship on Communication and Friendship

The best marriages begin with strong friendships. Dating should be a season of learning:

• how the other person thinks

• what they value

• how they handle stress

• their goals and convictions

• their past experiences

• their walk with Christ

Many relationships fail because they have physical closeness without emotional or spiritual closeness. A healthy relationship grows from the inside outward, not the other way around.

6. Seek Wise Counsel From Godly Mentors

God never intends believers to make major decisions alone. Wise counsel protects us from emotional decisions and blind spots.

“In the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”
Proverbs 11:14

Good counselors include:

• pastors

• mature Christian couples

• parents

• spiritual mentors

A relationship that avoids accountability often hides something. A relationship that welcomes wisdom becomes stronger.

7. Pray Together and Grow Spiritually Together

A Christian relationship should draw both people closer to Christ. Couples should:

• pray together about the relationship

• read Scripture together

• attend church together

• serve in ministry

• encourage each other to grow spiritually

If the relationship weakens your walk with God, it is not from Him.

8. Evaluate Long Term Compatibility

Marriage requires unity in many areas, not only emotion and attraction. Couples should talk openly about:

• future goals

• financial habits

• family expectations

• church involvement

• children

• conflict resolution

• calling and ministry

This is not unromantic. It is wisdom. Marriage joins two lives, not only two hearts.

9. Be Honest About Red Flags

God gives warnings for our protection. Red flags include:

• uncontrolled anger

• secrecy

• addiction

• sexual pressure

• manipulation

• dishonesty

• disrespect

• refusal to submit to God

Ending a relationship early is far better than entering a destructive marriage.

10. Trust God, Not Emotions, With the Outcome

Dating is an opportunity to grow in faith. Scripture teaches that God directs the steps of His children.

“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
Proverbs 3:6

When you surrender the relationship to God:

• He gives peace

• He reveals truth

• He closes the wrong doors

• He opens the right ones

• He prepares both hearts for a future marriage if it is His will

You can trust Him with your heart.

Christian dating is not about following rigid rules. It is about walking closely with God while discerning whether a relationship can lead to a Christ centered marriage. When believers pursue purity, wisdom, character, prayer, and accountability, they honor God and prepare themselves for His plan.

Dating becomes joyful, intentional, and spiritually fruitful when Christ remains the center.